Jesus: Change My Life... please

I love my God.

I cannot tell you how much I heart this post... my life has become simpler since reading it.
I have, for a long time, been stewing on John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  mostly, I've been trying to figure out how I can live my abundant life. I still don't know BUT I am toning down the drama. (!!) I wouldn't have considered myself high maintenance however I am more than qualified in making life difficult and have been busy putting my qualification to good use! Naughty. Life has not been easy and I have not made wise choices or contributions.
How do I stop being so selfish? Do I immerse myself in all that is unfair in the world to sweep me out of my inward view? Do I pray it out? Do I decide it out? Is it as simple as a choice? Am I not busy enough? Am I too busy?
I KNOW; put God first and everything else will fall into place; but imperfection being what it is, I struggle so much, especially when I think I am always right and can fix all that is wrong with the world if only people would listen.
Again, cannot say it enough, I am so awfully grateful that God is God and I am not, He is grace when I need it most. He doesn't judge me as cruelly as I judge others.

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Love our youth: This chap in the middle is Dalen.

He is Year 9, goes to an all boys school, predominantly PI and Maori, got a mouth on him like nothing else! (Makes up for his stature I'm guessing) You can hear him clearly in the above video, singing out of tune, but loving waiata with the boys!! I'm gonna miss hanging with these guys. My husband is stepping out of Youth into a new direction. I'm gutted actually. I have been so selfish and precious with my family time in my struggle to find balance and I haven't appreciated what was always in front of me. I do think I had a lot of growth on the cards - I was a lot grumpier as a Youth Leader than I am now, leaning more towards the love and less toward the discipline and structure. (Though... I am still grumpy - had a kid say the F word right in front of me while sitting in my lounge - BOY did he get it! Same kid actually.)

I will miss the vibrancy. The life. The laughter. I will miss the free way they live life, old enough to make their own decisions, too young to carry any real responsibility.

Still I need to ask God how we channel all that life into Him!

Blurry pic but it is clear our lounge is full... 

When we serve such a great God who does so much for us how can live life and not be CONTAGIOUSLY filled with Him.

How do we show the love of the Creator to those who need Him and don't know it yet?

God who intricately created each spot on each bloom of this flower

Each little knuckle on the toe of this foot....

He created this moment for my eyes to see!

How do I live life with such a wonderful God, and become so good at containing His splendour

When I should be letting it all out.

He has His best work on display for me daily...

And yet I feel like I keep Him locked away for none but me.

Job 26:7-10 He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness.

I've ended up on a tangent. 

Still... any ideas.....?

She's very crafty

Cracks me up the double meaning for the word 'crafty' and the care you must have when using it in 'mixed' company.

Anyway - I have a fabulous friend who is very crafty and seeing as I am a Craft-Amateur, I leap on every little thing she deems 'simple' but this one has step by step instructions with photos and even the photos are gorgeous. So here I share: The Purl Bee

We have a Women's Conference next weekend - probably should've posted this a long time ago - but should you find yourself at a loose I would love to meet you! Come on down!

Equippers Women

While I cannot guarantee you will meet Crafters, you'll definitely meet Gifted women, passionate, with a heart after God.

What else is happening at the moment...

TODAY - two of the sweetest people I know are getting married!! About time many would say, but God's timing is perfect - they were made for each other in the sincerest sense of the words... I love a good wedding and am determined not to cry (seeing as I have to sing shortly after the Bride arrives and knowing a runny nose will do me no aide!) 

And the sweetest engagement too: They had agreed to no presents for their anniversary and decided on a picnic dinner at the beach... then he surprises her with this box.... a photo of his hand, with the engagement ring sitting on top, two glasses filled with her favourite sweets, yummy grape juice - who knew romance was still so alive and well!

Hm, wedding anniversary next Weds - not sure if we'll do anything - nine years seems a little flat to celebrate - never know maybe I'll get a surprises too! Haha.

Ok, I better get going - usually I leave the Getting Ready too late and then I'm in a flap!!

Hugs to you!

Uh oh!

How do you keep up when you have subscribed to a lot of reads? (is this the time consuming part of blogging...? Geez I'm an amateur.) 

I went and checked out Widge and then I looked at what she reads and found bliss in a tea cup and there I found Small Town Stories which I couldn't figure out how to follow so I guess that slays that one for me anyway BUT THE LIST WAS NEVER ENDING and so I find myself here asking the question: Should I quit while I'm ahead?

Anyways, life seems to be getting back to 'settle' 

I've thrown a tanty lately, like a spoiled brat, though (again like I spoiled brat) I think it was well deserved of it's receiver... I think we have made progress.

Also I am trying to relax a bit. I love the  REALity of fellow bloggers and sometimes I actually am a little over cautious I think. Sometimes I completely clam up and say kaka, blah blah blah, nothings. Other times I have been like a tap with no off valve!

So expect me more relaxed (cos that is what I am praying for) 

I complained to a friend about the complaining of my friends and she said to me 

"Sweetie. I think it is about calling." 

to which I replied 

"What are you trying to say?! I need to suck it up?!" (can you hear my annoyance...)

she (with a deep sigh) replied 

"Yes. You do."

.

.

.

So apparently I am a 'Carer' My attitude can be pretty average when I say to God "But I can't be bothered..." I know now, I need to get educated! People talk to me for a reason (and please hear me - I love to be here for my friends, for anyone but don't complain to me over and over and over and over and then tell me you didn't ask God or attempt any of the things I suggested - that is about the point when "I can't be bothered") but I need to be on my game if I am to be any help to anyone! And you know what else... I need to get back to loving me. Busyness leaves little me time - so now, my new word is NO. Honestly I am not good at NO. Knowing I am busy I try and squeeze people in everywhere I can, but it is not good for me (or my family - no one likes a cranky wife!) So.... maybe I'll be on here more, maybe I'll watch more movies MAYBE I'll read some books (haha - I am actually reading the Chronicles of Narnia, I am a book behind my boy and he is loving having someone to discuss the books with - it's nice for us)

Anyway - again - I appreciate the eye-opening the blogging has done for me. Thank you Ladies!

xx

I love worship.

Air I Breathe

(hm, I'm not sure how to post a video from youtube not sure if this has worked)

My solace. My comfort. My refuge.

<sup>Psalm 18


1</sup> I love you, O LORD, my strength.

 ² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
       my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
       He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 ³ I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
       and I am saved from my enemies.

 ⁴ The cords of death entangled me;
       the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

 ⁵ The cords of the grave coiled around me;
       the snares of death confronted me.

 ⁶ In my distress I called to the LORD;
       I cried to my God for help.
       From his temple he heard my voice;
       my cry came before him, into his ears.

 ⁷ The earth trembled and quaked,
       and the foundations of the mountains shook;
       they trembled because he was angry.

 ⁸ Smoke rose from his nostrils;
       consuming fire came from his mouth,
       burning coals blazed out of it.

 ⁹ He parted the heavens and came down;
       dark clouds were under his feet.

 ¹⁰ He mounted the cherubim and flew;
       he soared on the wings of the wind.

 ¹¹ He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
       the dark rain clouds of the sky.

 ¹² Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
       with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

 ¹³ The LORD thundered from heaven;
       the voice of the Most High resounded.

 ¹⁴ He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
       great bolts of lightning and routed them.

 ¹⁵ The valleys of the sea were exposed
       and the foundations of the earth laid bare
       at your rebuke, O LORD,
       at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

 ¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
       he drew me out of deep waters.

 ¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
       from my foes, who were too strong for me.

 ¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
       but the LORD was my support.

 ¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
       he rescued me because he delighted in me.

 ²⁰ The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
       according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

 ²¹ For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
       I have not done evil by turning from my God.

 ²² All his laws are before me;
       I have not turned away from his decrees.

 ²³ I have been blameless before him
       and have kept myself from sin.

 ²⁴ The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
       according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

 ²⁵ To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
       to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

 ²⁶ to the pure you show yourself pure,
       but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

 ²⁷ You save the humble
       but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.

 ²⁸ You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
       my God turns my darkness into light.

 ²⁹ With your help I can advance against a troop;
       with my God I can scale a wall.

 ³⁰ As for God, his way is perfect;
       the word of the LORD is flawless.
       He is a shield
       for all who take refuge in him.

 ³¹ For who is God besides the LORD ?
       And who is the Rock except our God?

 ³² It is God who arms me with strength
       and makes my way perfect.

 ³³ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
       he enables me to stand on the heights.

 ³⁴ He trains my hands for battle;
       my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

 ³⁵ You give me your shield of victory,
       and your right hand sustains me;
       you stoop down to make me great.

 ³⁶ You broaden the path beneath me,
       so that my ankles do not turn.

 ³⁷ I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
       I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

 ³⁸ I crushed them so that they could not rise;
       they fell beneath my feet.

 ³⁹ You armed me with strength for battle;
       you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

 ⁴⁰ You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
       and I destroyed my foes.

 ⁴¹ They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
       to the LORD, but he did not answer.

 ⁴² I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
       I poured them out like mud in the streets.

 ⁴³ You have delivered me from the attacks of the people;
       you have made me the head of nations;
       people I did not know are subject to me.

 ⁴⁴ As soon as they hear me, they obey me;
       foreigners cringe before me.

 ⁴⁵ They all lose heart;
       they come trembling from their strongholds.

 ⁴⁶ The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
       Exalted be God my Savior!

 ⁴⁷ He is the God who avenges me,
       who subdues nations under me,

 ⁴⁸ who saves me from my enemies.
       You exalted me above my foes;
       from violent men you rescued me.

 ⁴⁹ Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
       I will sing praises to your name.

 ⁵⁰ He gives his king great victories;
       he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed,
       to David and his descendants forever.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Would you keep a friend around who lied to you all the time?

Seriously - what is with the mind and the things we tell ourselves, the things we take seriously and the things we ignore.


I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here.


Ok, I'll start with me. Everyday I have to tell myself: I'm awesome, I'm funny, I'm good at my job, I'm not a d!ck, I'm loved, I'm valued, I'm kind. Because everyday I forget. Seriously. I'm 32, and the only thing I am certain of is that Jesus Loves Me as I am and He created me for greater. Yet, still, with the everyday reminders. What does it take to get to that space of absolute confidence? To live in that space. I just wanna be there.


I'm sick. I think that's why I am so BLERGH (you have to make that sound aloud to know exactly what I mean by it) 


It's actually pretty straightforward Romans 12:02 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Am I being dumb? Should I paint it on a canvas and hang it next to my mirror so I see it everyday, is that all it's gonna take? Or is it a work I am desperately in need of (the answer is 'yes' isn't it?) Is it a work in progress?


Oh Jesus, I'm glad you have me.

Yes sir!

I am a daughter of The Living God!
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I'm not letting go!
I'm holding on for more!
I'm living what You've got for me!
Pushing through fear
Shaking off all doubt
I'm ready now!
Knowing You're with me to the end

I'm gonna live for You!
I'm gonna live for You!
I'm moving forward!
I'm breaking ground!

Knowing You're with me, Lord
I will run the race of my life
Never losing sight of who I am
In You

I know

I can

Live a life of Overcoming
Live a life of Victory
Live a life of Freedom
Live a life of Joy
Live a life of Peace
Live a life of ... everything You have for me....

I'm gonna live for You!
I'm gonna live for You!
I'm moving forward!
I'm breaking ground!
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Thanks for making me a fighter!
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Sometimes life and everything in it seems so....... AGH!

I remind myself WHO I AM.
Ever thankful that He loves me still.
So pleased that He has not given up, like I often want to.

Thank you Lord.
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"Makes me that much smarter

Makes me work a little bit harder

Makes me that much wiser

Thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much harder

Thanks for making me a fighter"

Phew!

So this is the beginning of Creative Me - not the flashest start, but a beginning none the less!


Thus far I have painted two pictures; Prep'ed a third.... 


One hasn't photographed well so no pic 


The second is this...

Psalm 27:13-14 - I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord

It may look... messy to some, maybe pointless... but I stare at it, turn it, look at it upside down, cast my eyes across it from the side... it makes me think. Now I just need to find a home for it! :o) 

I also found these treats that I am hoping to work wonders with! Pictures are taken with flash off because it kept reflecting off the couch

I have no idea what I am going to do with these but they were fifty cents.

Retro napkins, potentially... well ANYTHING - pencil cases, coin purses, baby bibs, softies 

And then there were these gorgeous little Crown Lynn Willow mugs

They're so cute I could kiss them!

I really appreciate the kindness and support of you, my fellow Bloggers.

I have been introduced to a new sphere of people who are ENCOURAGER'S, teachers and learners, unashamed, brave, adventurous and loving. 

You have stimulated a freedom in me that I did not know was capable, by allowing me to share my strange life/thoughts/behaviours/ with you and offering a wisdom I do not possess because you have lived and experienced a life that I have not. "I thank my God every time I remember you!" Phil. 1:3

YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

And finally this: 

Hebrews 12 :2-3 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Oh! One last thing: here LOVE IT!

Thinking aloud

Breathless - I love the ease of this song, carefree and sweet. 
Loving the first two lines of the chorus:

"I get so breathless when You call my name

I've often wondered do You fell the same?"

I don't know - are all songs written for me and God? Maybe :o)

A Hawkes Bay sunrise. An Artist at work.


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So I suffer some serious craft envy!
I want to be a photographer, a painter, a knitter, a sewer, a poet, a songwriter...
Agh! The list is endless!
I am enjoying the cruise around Blogland and checking out the recommendations of my fellow BlogBella's. I love seeing what has been cooked or cleaned up, painted, found, MADE with their own hands. The things that have caught their eye as being beautiful, in places I would never have thought to look! Or a song that makes me weep for it's simplicity.

My boys looking for sea glass.

Somehow I've convinced the Gents in my life to look for sea-glass - we don't find much, have managed to find bits of teaspoon and random stones. LOTS of smashed bottles - on their journey to sea smoothed brilliance - poxy stones, pumice, shattered shells. In my head I am creating something incredible from scraps, someone elses rubbish, but in reality my hands cannot translate what my mind dreams up.

Too frustrating, but I just keep dreaming. One day it'll happen!

We are doing a Winter Challenge at Church this month.

(pushing your boundaries a little you are challenged to do something that causes a stretch - it can be anything, spiritual, physical, mental etc) 

I am challenging myself to create. I am hoping to make one thing a week for the month of August but I'll be happy if I make only one thing for the month! I am a pretty harsh critic of myself so my goal is to make something that I am happy to gift. 

(Egad! Causing me to palpitate already!)

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Check out these shoes! They are my favourite colour and look so cute on.

Actually it has a matching pair at my girlfriends house. It is a rule of mine not to own shoes that I know someone else has but I could not resist these.... I have rarely worn them but they are from No1 Shoes, so I don't feel so bad about it :)

Well.... I am going to post this now. Hope/trust you are all well.

Til next time...

The Hope Of All Hearts

I was surprised at my surprise today when the preacher said
"You are important! What you do matters."
I pondered this: Two weeks ago at Connect Group, I asked the Crew to pray for me and said "Just guess guys! Whatever comes to mind!" expecting them to pray for The Big Fella and I and our financial security (it is always a concern to me, I have a teeny bit of trouble letting things rest in the palm of Gods more than capable Hand) what they actually prayed for was me. Just me. ONLY. Me. (I'll say again that I do not like to cry but) I cried. It was a very touching, nice, prayer time. I, seriously, can get caught up in the busyness of our life, and just go, go, go. And here was God taking me aside and once again showering me with his love. I didn't know that I needed it but I must have otherwise I wouldn't have cried, right. Anyway, things were said, similar to the above "You are important. What you do matters. You are a Leader. I admire you. I look up to you. You inspire me."
I'll be frank and say: Sometimes I've looked at my life and asked "Who would want this?" but that very question helped me realise today that I've been doing it wrong.
I've been topping up, when I should be overflowing. Almost like a Pak n Save petrol station; pulling in, entering the necessary info, getting what I need and pulling back onto the 'road'.
I have no idea what it looks like to give out of overflow - I simply cannot comprehend it. Nor can I comprehend doing more than what we do right now, but I'm excited that there is more! I'm excited that, as always, God provides hope. Luke 11 says "...he will get up and give you what you need because of your shameless persistence. And so I tell you, keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you..." NLT

Distinction

2010 is for me.

Inspired by family who survive sickness, loss, struggle, battles... 


I recognise now that I come from a generation of Overcomers. A lineage of Conquerors. So I'll walk in it. Claiming it, I'm declaring it is MINE 
This is my year for Breakthrough, the year where nothing is held back.


Isaiah 45

 ¹ "This is what the LORD says to his anointed,
       to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of
       to subdue nations before him
       and to strip kings of their armor,
       to open doors before him
       so that gates will not be shut:
 ² I will go before you
       and will level the mountains ^[a] ;
       I will break down gates of bronze
       and cut through bars of iron.
 ³ I will give you the treasures of darkness,
       riches stored in secret places,
       so that you may know that I am the LORD,
       the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
 ⁴ For the sake of Jacob my servant,
       of Israel my chosen,
       I summon you by name
       and bestow on you a title of honor,
       though you do not acknowledge me.
 ⁵ I am the LORD, and there is no other;
       apart from me there is no God.
       I will strengthen you,
       though you have not acknowledged me,
 ⁶ so that from the rising of the sun
       to the place of its setting
       men may know there is none besides me.
       I am the LORD, and there is no other.
 ⁷ I form the light and create darkness,
       I bring prosperity and create disaster;
       I, the LORD, do all these things.


I'll pursue the Fathers heart, that my spoken word and unspoken thought would be pleasing in His sight.