Showing posts with label how do I know. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how do I know. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Jesus: Change My Life... please



I love my God.

I cannot tell you how much I heart this post... my life has become simpler since reading it.
I have, for a long time, been stewing on John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  mostly, I've been trying to figure out how I can live my abundant life. I still don't know BUT I am toning down the drama. (!!) I wouldn't have considered myself high maintenance however I am more than qualified in making life difficult and have been busy putting my qualification to good use! Naughty. Life has not been easy and I have not made wise choices or contributions.
How do I stop being so selfish? Do I immerse myself in all that is unfair in the world to sweep me out of my inward view? Do I pray it out? Do I decide it out? Is it as simple as a choice? Am I not busy enough? Am I too busy?
I KNOW; put God first and everything else will fall into place; but imperfection being what it is, I struggle so much, especially when I think I am always right and can fix all that is wrong with the world if only people would listen.
Again, cannot say it enough, I am so awfully grateful that God is God and I am not, He is grace when I need it most. He doesn't judge me as cruelly as I judge others.

___________________________________________________


Love our youth: This chap in the middle is Dalen.


He is Year 9, goes to an all boys school, predominantly PI and Maori, got a mouth on him like nothing else! (Makes up for his stature I'm guessing) You can hear him clearly in the above video, singing out of tune, but loving waiata with the boys!! I'm gonna miss hanging with these guys. My husband is stepping out of Youth into a new direction. I'm gutted actually. I have been so selfish and precious with my family time in my struggle to find balance and I haven't appreciated what was always in front of me. I do think I had a lot of growth on the cards - I was a lot grumpier as a Youth Leader than I am now, leaning more towards the love and less toward the discipline and structure. (Though... I am still grumpy - had a kid say the F word right in front of me while sitting in my lounge - BOY did he get it! Same kid actually.)

I will miss the vibrancy. The life. The laughter. I will miss the free way they live life, old enough to make their own decisions, too young to carry any real responsibility.


Still I need to ask God how we channel all that life into Him!


Blurry pic but it is clear our lounge is full... 
When we serve such a great God who does so much for us how can live life and not be CONTAGIOUSLY filled with Him.


How do we show the love of the Creator to those who need Him and don't know it yet?


God who intricately created each spot on each bloom of this flower


Each little knuckle on the toe of this foot....


He created this moment for my eyes to see!

How do I live life with such a wonderful God, and become so good at containing His splendour

When I should be letting it all out.

He has His best work on display for me daily...

And yet I feel like I keep Him locked away for none but me.


Job 26:7-10 He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness.

I've ended up on a tangent. 
Still... any ideas.....?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Uh oh!

How do you keep up when you have subscribed to a lot of reads? (is this the time consuming part of blogging...? Geez I'm an amateur.) 

I went and checked out Widge and then I looked at what she reads and found bliss in a tea cup and there I found Small Town Stories which I couldn't figure out how to follow so I guess that slays that one for me anyway BUT THE LIST WAS NEVER ENDING and so I find myself here asking the question: Should I quit while I'm ahead?


Anyways, life seems to be getting back to 'settle' 
I've thrown a tanty lately, like a spoiled brat, though (again like I spoiled brat) I think it was well deserved of it's receiver... I think we have made progress.

Also I am trying to relax a bit. I love the  REALity of fellow bloggers and sometimes I actually am a little over cautious I think. Sometimes I completely clam up and say kaka, blah blah blah, nothings. Other times I have been like a tap with no off valve!

So expect me more relaxed (cos that is what I am praying for) 
I complained to a friend about the complaining of my friends and she said to me 

"Sweetie. I think it is about calling." 

to which I replied 

"What are you trying to say?! I need to suck it up?!" (can you hear my annoyance...)

she (with a deep sigh) replied 

"Yes. You do."
.
.
.

So apparently I am a 'Carer' My attitude can be pretty average when I say to God "But I can't be bothered..." I know now, I need to get educated! People talk to me for a reason (and please hear me - I love to be here for my friends, for anyone but don't complain to me over and over and over and over and then tell me you didn't ask God or attempt any of the things I suggested - that is about the point when "I can't be bothered") but I need to be on my game if I am to be any help to anyone! And you know what else... I need to get back to loving me. Busyness leaves little me time - so now, my new word is NO. Honestly I am not good at NO. Knowing I am busy I try and squeeze people in everywhere I can, but it is not good for me (or my family - no one likes a cranky wife!) So.... maybe I'll be on here more, maybe I'll watch more movies MAYBE I'll read some books (haha - I am actually reading the Chronicles of Narnia, I am a book behind my boy and he is loving having someone to discuss the books with - it's nice for us)

Anyway - again - I appreciate the eye-opening the blogging has done for me. Thank you Ladies!

xx

I love worship.

(hm, I'm not sure how to post a video from youtube not sure if this has worked)