Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Jesus: Change My Life... please

I love my God.

I cannot tell you how much I heart this post... my life has become simpler since reading it.
I have, for a long time, been stewing on John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  mostly, I've been trying to figure out how I can live my abundant life. I still don't know BUT I am toning down the drama. (!!) I wouldn't have considered myself high maintenance however I am more than qualified in making life difficult and have been busy putting my qualification to good use! Naughty. Life has not been easy and I have not made wise choices or contributions.
How do I stop being so selfish? Do I immerse myself in all that is unfair in the world to sweep me out of my inward view? Do I pray it out? Do I decide it out? Is it as simple as a choice? Am I not busy enough? Am I too busy?
I KNOW; put God first and everything else will fall into place; but imperfection being what it is, I struggle so much, especially when I think I am always right and can fix all that is wrong with the world if only people would listen.
Again, cannot say it enough, I am so awfully grateful that God is God and I am not, He is grace when I need it most. He doesn't judge me as cruelly as I judge others.


Love our youth: This chap in the middle is Dalen.

He is Year 9, goes to an all boys school, predominantly PI and Maori, got a mouth on him like nothing else! (Makes up for his stature I'm guessing) You can hear him clearly in the above video, singing out of tune, but loving waiata with the boys!! I'm gonna miss hanging with these guys. My husband is stepping out of Youth into a new direction. I'm gutted actually. I have been so selfish and precious with my family time in my struggle to find balance and I haven't appreciated what was always in front of me. I do think I had a lot of growth on the cards - I was a lot grumpier as a Youth Leader than I am now, leaning more towards the love and less toward the discipline and structure. (Though... I am still grumpy - had a kid say the F word right in front of me while sitting in my lounge - BOY did he get it! Same kid actually.)

I will miss the vibrancy. The life. The laughter. I will miss the free way they live life, old enough to make their own decisions, too young to carry any real responsibility.

Still I need to ask God how we channel all that life into Him!

Blurry pic but it is clear our lounge is full... 
When we serve such a great God who does so much for us how can live life and not be CONTAGIOUSLY filled with Him.

How do we show the love of the Creator to those who need Him and don't know it yet?

God who intricately created each spot on each bloom of this flower

Each little knuckle on the toe of this foot....

He created this moment for my eyes to see!

How do I live life with such a wonderful God, and become so good at containing His splendour

When I should be letting it all out.

He has His best work on display for me daily...

And yet I feel like I keep Him locked away for none but me.

Job 26:7-10 He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness.

I've ended up on a tangent. 
Still... any ideas.....?